False Assumptions

John Stonestreet, Senior Content Advisor for Summit Ministries and Fellow with the Chuck Colson Center of Christian Worldview, commented recently that the older generations need to “get over the barrier that younger generations don’t want to hear what you have to say.” I would add: younger generations need to get over the barrier than older generations don’t want to hear what they have to say either.

J. R. graduated from a well-known college in the Mid-West where he and several other students enjoyed a positive relationship with the president of the college. Every week the president met with them in his office, and sometimes at his home. They ‘sat at the feet’ of this remarkable man and shared their lives generation to generation.

After graduation, J.R. accepted a position on the staff of a large church and immediately set out to establish a mentoring relationship with another older man like the one he had enjoyed at college. Sadly, he had a very difficult time finding anyone who would respond to his desire for this inter-generational mentoring relationship. No one from the pastoral staff or the Elder Board accepted his plea for a mentor. His disappointment eventually contributed to his leaving his position and moving his wife to another city.

I was part of the church where J.R. was serving. I did not know of J.R’s desire for an older mentor to walk with him in his journey, but I know I would have been more than eager to enter such a relationship had he asked. I also know several other men who would have done the same—men with a lot to offer. While I’m disappointed in the responses he got from the church leadership, I wonder if his search was limited to the important people in the church, like the college president. What about the lesser known older men who have walked faithfully with God without the accolades or coveted positions?

Some people have a tendency to make assumptions and judgments about other generations. Younger generations often assume older generations don’t really care; older generations tend to think the younger generations don’t really care. They’re both wrong. It’s time to put aside our biases and stop listening to the voices that do not tell the whole story. It’s time to set aside our fears and judgments about one another. It’s time to find a way to engage generation to generation. There’s so much to gain if we will only make the effort.

Here are four things I believe can facilitate inter-generational relationships:

1. Lay aside your assumptions and prejudices about another generation.
2. Get over yourself. Don’t think too highly of yourself (pride) or too little of what God has given you to share (another form of pride).
3. Dare take the initiative. Step out of your comfort zone and step into the other generation’s world.
4. Trust God. Believe what He has already told us in His Word.

What are the obstacles you have experienced is seeking to build a mentoring relationship with someone of another generation?