I just spent an amazing weekend with more than 300 men and some very special friends at a men’s retreat in the magnificent Colorado mountains. In our cabin three young men in their thirties found themselves thrust into the mix with eight other old men over fifty (most of us over sixty). These young men touched our lives in powerful ways. They trusted us with their hearts and we trusted them with ours. What followed was the opportunity to speak into each other’s lives in amazing ways.
Our retreat speaker, Bill Thrall with Truefaced (www.truefaced.com), launched the weekend 
by asking us to examine how well our theology actually touched the reality in our lives. The truth is that too often it doesn’t intersect at all. When that happens, the reality of grace—the place where we can trust God with our stuff, embrace His forgiveness, and receive His love—is derailed.
The truth is when we don’t trust God with our life the mask goes up. Then we find ourselves in the tragic position of not trusting others as well, or allowing them to love the real us. This is a core issue that faces every generation and impacts our ability to relate generation to generation. When our theology does not match reality, trust is lost and the ability to engage in authentic, transparent relationships is diminished.
If the generations are to engage with one another in meaningful and beneficial ways (as I believe God intends), trust is vital. When it comes right down to it, trust is a control issue. When one person feels another is trying to control things so they don’t have to peel their mask off, trust is unlikely. As Bill Thrall frequently reminded us, trust has to do with humility, which involves trusting God and others with our lives. It can only happen when we take off our masks.
I propose four questions for you to ask yourself if the mask is ever to come off so your relationship with God and others can be amazing:
- What do I believe about God and by what authority?
If I do not believe the Bible is God’s Word, I set myself up as the authority for my belief about God. The problem is I am influenced by my feelings, emotions and circumstances. My belief about God determines how I answer the next question. - What do I believe God says about me, and am I willing to trust Him?
Do I believe God when He says He made me in His image. Do I believe that I am precious to Him and the Cross proves it? Do I trust Him when He says, “I love you and when I see you I see the righteousness of Christ. You are no longer the person you once were?” - Whom do I really trust with my real self in my horizontal relationships?
It is really important to understand this about trust. When I choose to not trust, I am choosing to not be loved. I cannot expect others to respect or engage with me when I am not real enough to let them know me and love me with all my flaws. - What about me keeps others from trusting me with their lives?
If I do not trust, I can’t expect others to trust me. People can usually tell when I wear a mask. Transparency and authenticity opens the door for others to trust me with their stuff and do life together.
What are some of the things that are keeping you from taking off your mask? How do you bring your theology into intersection with the daily reality of your life? What are some practical ways we can build trust between the generations?
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