Embracing God’s “Two-Family” Plan: Part 1 of 4

by | Nov 4, 2024 | 2 comments

A Biblical Perspective of Family

I suspect most followers of Christ would agree that one of Satan’s top strategies for disrupting God’s purposes is to attack and unravel the family. Family has always been God’s primary means for passing on faith and making disciples generation to generation. Evangelization and discipleship are a fundamental function of God-fearing, Christ-following families, and the Bible is replete with commands concerning this role of the family (Deut. 6-11; Psalm 78:1-8; Psalm 145:4-7; Ephesians 6:4 to name a few).

One of Satan’s strategies in this area is to make us forget that “family” is more the nuclear family (Mom, Dad, and the kids). God’s view is more inclusive. He created extended families—grandparents and other biological relatives, and His desire is that all the family be involved in some fashion in this process of training up a child in the way he/she should go. While parents have primary responsibility for this task, grandparents (and aunts and uncles) have an equally important role in God’s family plan for evangelism and discipleship.

Alas, the rampant nature of expressive individualism in the world today is reaping devastation in our families. We live in a time when the war of ideas constantly assaults God’s truth. John Stonestreet is right when he says, “ideas have consequences and bad ideas have victims”. We have become so consumed with a “what’s-in-it-for-me” view of life (a bad idea), that we unwittingly teach our children that life is all about doing and being what YOU want to do and be. After all, you can be whatever you want to be according to this modern philosophy. 

Yet the Bible clearly teaches that God made us on purpose (male and female) for a purpose, and His purpose is not only better, but always best (see Psalm 139:13-16 and Ephesians 2:10). Man’s purpose and value are rooted in our being made in His image. The world will notice this as we by faith intentionally live, not for ourselves, but for something beyond ourselves.  

Our worldview dictates what we personally believe about the world and all that exists—God, life, and death—which determines how we live our lives. A worldview that ignores or denies God  will leave us floating aimlessly in a sea of self-centeredness without a compass to guide us.  The Bible clearly tells us that “the fear of God is the beginning of knowledge” (Prov. 1:7). A biblical worldview intentionally formed in a child’s heart and mind by godly parents, grandparents and others, will help that child navigate this self-centered world and discover hope rooted in their knowledge of God, His sovereignty, and His goodness, grace, and love for them. This is the heart of God’s plan for building flourishing families. 

Which brings me to one other family matter—one often ignored in our teaching and modeling in the family. It is our place and part in the family of God. As I’ve written previously concerning the difference between a multi-generational church and an inter-generational church, our families have been deprived of so much of the “inter-generational” component due to our focus on age-segregated models where the family of God rarely does life together as the family of God. 

My parents did a good job raising me and my five siblings with an understanding of the important part the church family plays in our lives. We learned to love that “family” like we did our own. Certainly, there were plenty of age-segregated moments where we received solid biblical teaching, built strong friendships, and enjoyed some amazing fun times with our peers. But my family and our pastor knew that, as important as these times were, it was equally important that we learned to do life together with all the generations. I was privileged to have several “spiritual” grandparents in that congregation of more than 500 people. They loved me and I loved them. They showed me (and my siblings) what it meant to be part of the Bride of Christ where every part contributed to the whole. 

Today, many of our biological families have little understanding of how vital and valuable the family of God is. We don’t do a good job of teaching our children and teens to love the Church. That needs to change… soon. 

In part two of this series, Dr. Lawson Murray helps us understand the importance of God’s plan for these two families of faith, and how we can effectively practice living well in both.

Thoughts or questions. Please share them with us.

Written by Cavin Harper

A graduate of Baylor University and Denver Seminary, Cavin Harper served as an associate pastor for 17 years before founding ElderQuest Ministries which later became known as the Christian Grandparenting Network. He writes a weekly blog on grandparenting and has authored several books including Courageous Grandparenting: Building a Legacy Worth Outliving You.

2 Comments

2 Comments

  1. Glenn B Havumaki

    Yesterday, Sandy and I with several others were welcomed as new members of the church just before the message and the youngest children through Grade 3 were sent to their class rooms for kids church. But the elder leading this time told the teachers and the children to wait before leaving the worship center. The reason he explained were that the elders felt it was important for them to watch the “welcome” as we stood and were prayed over as we became part of the church for the purpose of ministering together using our spiritual and natural giftedness. They wanted even the young children to witness this for the purpose of teaching the importance of church membership and being the body of Christ, serving Him and serving one another. I thought that was very good wisdom, not to loose the family aspect of doing church together. Thanks for a good start on this blog.

    Reply
  2. Cavin

    Thanks, Glenn. It’s good to see church leaders stepping up and making an intentional decision to help our children understand what it means to be part of God’s family. Kudos to that Elder.

    Reply

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