Embracing God’s “Two Family” Plan: Part 4

Rethinking Age-Segregated Ministry in the Church

We know there are only 168 hours in a week, so let’s consider how that’s divided out among our kids today who attend church on average: Social Media/other media =  50+ hours/week; Education = 30+ hours/week;  Church = 1-2 hours/week. Research finds that a child or teen attends church on average less than 2 times per month. Obviously, there are many children who are attending more than the average, but even then, it’s probably an average of 3-4 hours a week. That still leaves roughly 80+ hours a week at home or some other activity.

Pastors, this clearly poses a serious challenge for the church to be in a position to make a significant impact. It also points out that the family has the greatest opportunity to teach and disciple their own children. Yet, a majority of families today expect the church to fulfill that task. Ironically, the typical church spends most of their resources seeking to maximize impact with children and teens, while giving minimal attention to the people who can make the greatest impact—parents.

My good friend, Dr. Josh Mulvihill with Renewanation, has noted that parents rely on a “pattern” for spiritual training of their children in which neither the church nor the family can possibly achieve the spiritual impact desired. That pattern is reflected as follows:

1. No family worship, intentional plan, or training by the church
2. Infrequent church attendance
3. Strong media and educational influence
4. Lack of a biblical worldview

Based upon these patterns, I would pose the following questions for consideration by church and ministry leaders…

1. How do you know and measure if your children’s and youth ministry programs are truly effective? Have you really sat down and put together an objective and honest assessment of your effectiveness that is not based upon religious consumerism, but how well we are teaching children to truly know, love, and serve Christ?
   
2. How do you know if the children and youth in your congregation are developing a lasting, deep faith? What indicators might give you an accurate sense of how a child is developing in faith from the time they enter your children’s ministry to the time they graduate from high school?
   
3. How would you measure the level of age-integrated relationships that are actually occurring in your church? Are you truly building an inter-generational family of God in which each part contributes to the other, or have you resigned yourself to believe that a multi-generational model where the generations rarely engage with each other in meaningful ways is sufficient?

Having served on staff in the local church for nearly two decades, I understand the challenges the church faces in a culture in which individualism and fractured families dominate our cultural landscape. But let’s not let that discourage us from seeking to be the one place where the power of God overcomes those obstacles.

Permit me to offer four considerations that could help you change your church’s landscape. These considerations are dependent upon your willingness to do an honest assessment of how your ministry model aligns with God’s Word. In other words, does your model align more with Scripture or culture?

Consideration #1: Are parents/grandparents adequately equipped to lead family worship and lovingly disciple children in the home?

Consideration #2: Are your mid-week and weekend programs effectively accomplishing their purposes for equipping the family of God to evangelize and disciple well? Are the time and resources dedicated to these programs driven more by that purpose or entertainment?

Consideration #3: Are children and teens actually worshipping with the whole congregation? Why or why not? Do you have an intentional plan for assimilating children and families in which they learn to love and find joy in being part of the family of God?

Consideration #4: Is every generation in your congregation developing a solid biblical worldview? What assessment processes do you have in place to determine whether that is happening effectively?

As a pastor or ministry leader, I know you want the family of God you are shepherding to be a family who truly does life together in a way that glorifies God and blesses its members generation to generation. This is not a matter of simply keeping church attendance up, but of building a family of faith generation to generation from which the fragrance of Christ is apparent, and His glory is on display for all to see. May God bless you and empower you to be that kind of shepherd.