Four Patterns for Restoring An Inter-Gen Culture

When Chad was dismissed from the table (see my previous post) because he wasn’t viewed as an adult, an opportunity was lost. He was denied a chance to engage with mature adults and learn what it means to become an adult (By the way, that’s a topic we will explore more in another post). Have we become so generationally-minded as a culture that we are throwing away significant opportunities to impress the hearts of our children as God intended? Meaningful inter-generational conversation is rare enough today. We cannot afford to lose it in our families as well.

How do we cultivate an inter-generational culture in our society and families? God gave us a four-part pattern to help us in this task. It is a simple pattern, but one that requires intentionality on the part of parents, grandparents and church leaders. It is found in Deuteronomy 6:4-9…

1) When you sit at home
2) When you walk along the road
3) When you lie down
4) When you get up.

This pattern is not limited to parents and the nuclear family. It is intended for ALL the family, including the family of God. Let’s take a closer look at the pattern and how it can be intentionality applied to today:

1. When you sit at home: Make the family table a high priority. Mealtimes are the best and most productive times for ‘sitting at home’. Sadly, a decreasing number of families make this a priority anymore. We have shifted our priorities from family relationships to individual agendas, and the price we pay for doing so is enormous. If you want to begin the process of restoring the richness of meaningful inter-generational relationships, start with the family table. Turn off the TV and put away the cell phones. Look at each other and TALK.If you’ve ever viewed the TV series Blue Bloods, you know that there is always a meaningful time in each episode when the four generations of Regans gather around the table for a meal. Everyone is engaged and no topic is reserved for just the ‘adults’ at the table. It’s a great picture of the value and importance of inter-generational engagement when you sit down. We could learn some lessons from the Regans…lessons God already designed long ago.
2. When you walk along the road: Make family vacations purposeful and memorable. Vacations are a powerful opportunity to apply the walk along the road pattern. Unfortunately, many vacations end up being more about doing individual things than doing life together. With all the tech gadgets in our lives, vacation time can still end up being anything but meaningful and purposeful relationship building. Being intentional means setting some boundaries and planning to make the time together fruitful and fun.Vacations can also be great opportunities to minister to others as well. For example, have you considered using vacation time for a family missions trip or a working on a project with Habitat for Humanity? While youth and adult missions trips are great, an inter-generational experience will build a legacy that will outlive you.

Next time, we’ll take a look at the other two pieces of God’s pattern In Deuteronomy for reEngaging life together—generation to generation.

In the meantime, I’d like to hear some of the ways you are able to implement these first two patterns in your own family. What are ways grandparents could apply these principles in their families?