Since about 2015 I have sought to get the attention of pastors and family ministry workers in US churches to acknowledge the urgency of reframing our modern family ministry models on biblical principles rather than cultural trends. It’s not the church’s job to teach and disciple the next generations. Now is the time to give back to the family that job.
A good friend of mine who helped start a very large youth ministry organization in the 60’s recently commented about some of his regrets about the underlying premise of that ministry during those years. Looking back, he wishes they had focused more on equipping parents to teach and disciple their children rather than on the church assuming that responsibility through large youth ministries.
In the midst of the Coronavirus pandemic we have witnessed a huge impact in the way we do church and family from what we were accustomed to do before COVID. Families are being forced to spend unprecedented time together for the first time in generations. Churches are being driven to re-examine what the ‘Church’ is really all about and what this pandemic is going to mean for how we gather. The big question, however, is… are we asking the right questions and are we listening well to what God is telling us?
When I hear parents and grandparent say they can’t wait to get back to regular churches worship gatherings so they can get their children back into the children’s and youth ministries of the church, it makes me almost cry. In fact, I actually want to scream, “No, don’t you get it? It’s not the church’s responsibility to teach and disciple your kids. It’s YOUR responsibility!!!” And when we do gather, we ought to gather as families, not send all the generations off to their own isolated enclaves.
Another Pastor’s Perspective
Lest you think I am the only one concerned about this, here are some comments recently made to a group of pastors by Francis Chan, pastor of Cornerstone Church in Simi Valley as he spoke about the enormous opportunity families have to assume a hands-on role in the spiritual development of children.
“I think about parents. I hear in a lot of churches they’ve got to meet together again because of our kids. And I’m going, ‘Man, God should wake you up right there. Parents are supposed to be teaching their kids.’ It’s a great opportunity for you, dads, to step up and believe the Spirit of the living God is inside of your body and you can lead that family. And if they’re not equipped, then figure it out and man up. Parents, you’re supposed to lead your kids,” he said.
“We’ve weakened all these gifted godly people because we do everything for them.” Chan then pointed to the kinds of complaints he has been hearing: “What do we do? No one is teaching my kid.”
“I say, ‘No. Take advantage of this time. I really believe this is of God. This is a time where we realized we were not ready for this.’ So, if we get another little break, let’s do everything we can to equip and prepare people for times like this because I really don’t believe this is the end of it.”
I say “Amen! Pastor Chan”. It’s time for the shepherds of our local congregations to get with it! There will be plenty of people who, like so many of the Israelites wandering in the wilderness, cry out, “Just take me back to what I know (Egypt).” Don’t be one of those naysayers. Encourage your pastoral staff to not listen to them. Let your pastors know you will stand with them as they lead the flock with courageous faith knowing what God has already said is right. It is no accident we are in the times we are in. This is of God and He has a purpose for His church in these times.
Among those purposes, I believe, is taking seriously the church’s responsibility to equip and train our families for such a time as these. Could it be that God is simply preparing us for more challenging times? Let’s not pass up the opportunity to put into practice what God wants us to do in these times.
This is not a time to demand a return to the way things were. It’s a time seek God and ask Him to show us how we are to live according to His purposes no matter how things are. Yes, these are difficult times, but there are so many exciting opportunities before us. Ask your leadership to help you help you assume the roles God has given you, and not expect the church to do it for you. Helping you do your job is the church’s job.
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