I was impressed to see the large number of college students sitting in the church I was speaking at a few years ago. In a church of about 400 people, it appeared that about twenty percent of the congregation was comprised of these young adults. Besides college students another significant group stood out—those over fifty. I would estimate roughly fifty percent of those sitting in the congregation were in this category. It wasn’t hard to determine the composition of these age groups because most of them sat as a group in different parts of the worship center. Each had their own sacred spaces staked out, and each on opposite sides of the worship center.
It is so typical of the Western church to have, not only specific programs for various age groups, but segregated spaces for various age groups in the worship service. Why do we do that? Actually, that’s a question of major importance in the church today, but one I suspect is rarely asked. I understand why we gravitate to those who are most like us, but is it what it means to be the body of Christ—His ecclesia?
It’s easy for us to talk about inter-generational relationships, but it’s a lot harder to cultivate them. We have such an individualistic and homogenous mentality in America today that it’s hard to function any other way. We pride ourselves on being part of a multi-generational church where we have programs for every age group. Be it’s a lot harder to admit we are usually far from being inter-generational in which we truly do life together generation to generation.
When I talk with young adults, I frequently hear them express their desire for meaningful relationships with other people. They understand the need for wisdom that should be found among the aged. But they also want to be heard—to be valued for what they can also contribute. Sadly, I find that older adults seem much more reticent to engage with younger generations. Why is that? Is it because it’s too uncomfortable?
If you are an older adult, who are your friends among the youth and young adults in your church? What is it that keeps you from engaging with them meaningfully? If you are a young adult (18-29), who are your friends among the older generations? What are your concerns about building meaningful relationships with older adults? What can we do in the today’s church culture to break down the barriers and begin to cultivate an inter-generational mindset?
I know it’s not just a matter of sitting together, but perhaps that’s the starting point. Maybe it’s time to get rid of these ‘sacred spaces’ and mix it up a bit. What do you think? I am eager to hear your comments—old and young.
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