“Don’t hook me up with some kid with tattoos and piercings! I don’t like that stuff,” Walt said to me. Walt was one of several older men who had agreed to participate in an inter-generational experiment several years ago at a college in Florida. He loved young people, but he had this thing about tattoos and earrings on men.
It all began when my wife and I arranged to travel with our Board members and spouses to spend a week with college students in Palm Beach Atlantic University. We met up with two other older couples where we were given our randomly assigned pairings with the college students who had volunteered to participate in this experiment (they did get some college credits as incentive).
It turned out that Walt was paired with (I swear I had nothing to do with it) the one student who had both tattoos and earrings. His student also had serious negative attitudes about older people. God does have a sense of humor.
Once we were paired up, we spent the next week on campus with these students attending classes with them, eating with them, participating in student functions and off-campus projects with them, and engaging in a daily focus group each afternoon.
Dismantling Stereotypes
We discovered a number of ‘stereotypes’ we each held about the other generations. Obviously, one of our team members was adamant about his feelings concerning tattoos and bling, but some formed stereotypes about work ethic or music tastes. Some of the students were less than excited about this ‘experiment’ because they also held stereotypes about “old people’s” judgmentalism and unwillingness to change.
Yet, within two days, attitudes completely changed in both generations. The one typical comment heard from both groups was how preconceived stereotypes had been dramatically dismantled.
The same result might have been achieved by any group of older and younger adults spending intentional time together. I concede that possibility. Getting to know one another does have an impact on reshaping some of the stereotypes we have toward one another. But for us there was something more than the problem of stereotypes. We shared a faith forged by a conviction about each other’s individual worth. Our view of each other was framed in the knowledge that we are each made in the image of God. Our worth is not determined by external factors, but an intrinsic truth imprinted in all humans by our Creator. Our attitudes changed because of changed hearts.
I realize that each generation has their own perspectives and ideas about life that can sometimes seem irreconcilable. When we focus on these differences, they separate us generationally and prevent us from recognizing shared, immutable truths that make us inter-dependent. Everyone loses. Certainly, Dr. Gunderman’s suggestion that we get to know one another is one piece of the solution. But Jesus taught us two things that will truly bring us together: loving God and loving one another.
The Gospel Solution
This is the heart of the Gospel and key to transformation and reconciliation in all our relationships, woundedness and injustices. The Gospel is the only way to reconciliation with our heavenly Father which makes loving relationships with one another possible. Christ both taught and demonstrated the foundational factor for such relationships—humility. In fact, He said, “Even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve and give His life as a ransom for many”(Mark 10:45).
In Ephesians 4 Paul builds upon this truth as he lays out two basic conditions for unity in the Spirit, which I believe includes generational unity:
- Humility and gentleness (vs. 2)
- Patience and bearing with one another (vs.2)
The visible evidence of this unity is the bond of peace. Now, obviously these are marks of unity in the body of Christ. But let us not forget that when we live as the family of God in this bond of peace, it will extend to those outside the body as well.
Unfortunately, when I look around the faith community, I am saddened by the reality that often people see little difference between us and the rest of the world. That said, my belief that the Gospel really is the only source of heart transformation is not diminished. Rather, it motivates me more to engage in conversations about what being a follower of Christ really means. We need more intentional conversations between generations in the family of God about why we believe what we believe and how we ought to put it all into practice. And it is incumbent upon our faith shepherds to make sure the Gospel shapes what we teach, how we live and what living as the Body of Christ looks like. It means parents and grandparents must be more intentional about engaging their families with the truth. In other words, there are some radical shifts in the way we operate as a faith community we need to address.
This common faith we share is rooted in our relationship with Christ. It had a huge impact on our openness with one another at that Florida college. Hearts that have been made alive and controlled by the Spirit will drive us to love one another and those who are not like us in ways that the world does not fathom. It is the kind of love the world will notice because it transcends all the things that divide us.
There is one more critical factor for overcoming generationalism. I briefly referred to it in this edition, but I will speak to it in more details in my next and final post on this matter of recognizing and countering the dangers of generationalism.
0 Comments