Can Your Mess Be Your Message?

Like Moses, I have often said to the Lord, “Who am I, Lord, to challenge other grandparents to follow You and disciple the next generations? After all, look at me. There’s so much messy stuff in my life. Maybe someone else would be better qualified.”

Have you ever felt that way? Or perhaps you’ve heard someone younger—a grandchild or a young person at church—remark, “I just don’t respect the older generation. All I see is their flaws.” Ouch! The truth is that none of us are perfect. We all have plenty of flaws. So, is it possible that God can use us with all the mess in our lives?

I appreciate the way Jeff Myers, CEO of Summit Ministries, addresses this question in his book, Handoff: The Only Way to Win the Race of Life. Jeff says, “What this generation needs is a model of persistence, not perfection.” He goes on to say,

We assume we can’t use our lives as an example for those to whom we are passing the baton. But that’s the whole point: you’re a little farther down the road, and can impart wisdom through both your successes and your failures (pg. 118).

No one benefits when the older generation sits on the sidelines. A car is made to drive, not sit in the parking lot or garage. Still every car breaks down and needs repairs from time to time. Still, that doesn’t change the purpose of a car nor lessen its value for transportation. Sure, we have to keep up with needed repairs and maintenance. We may need a tow at times, but when properly maintained it can last serve its purpose for a long time.

More often that not, as Jeff Myers points out, “your mess is your message.” When we see each other as real, flawed people that God teaches and molds (not as in mildew) every day of our lives, there are riches to be mined from each other. Fearing that the flaws will disqualify us, we put on masks and pretend to be what we are not. When the masks come down, so do the barriers that keep us from growing together in our journeys.

There will be some who don’t care about learning from the lessons of the past. Most, however, will respond to those whose goal is not to reproduce their own life in another. They want to see that in both success and failure they are still valued as God’s workmanship connected to the whole body where they can grow into full maturity in Christ according to His design.

Here are five questions Jeff suggests to jump start the process of investing in someone from the next generation:

1. What did others do to invest meaningfully in my life?
2. How do I wish someone had invested in my life?
3. How do I naturally like to spend time with other people?
4. What important realities do I think others ought to know?
5. What do I wish I had known at a younger age?

What are some of the lessons you have learned about mentoring/discipling in spite of the messes in your own life?